“The greatest thing is just to love,
AND be loved in return.”
My grief cycle moved very nicely from anger to sadness throughout the day, which I credited to really FEELING my emotions, which I hadn’t really done before with strong “negative” emotions, for lack of better terms.
Last night I attended another Authentic Relating circle. I was particularly nervous because a friend was also attending. This made me feel vulnerable for a couple of reasons. First, they knew me outside of the circle, and that I had been struggling. Second I was concerned that I would no longer be able to be an on-looker at the circle, and need to participate more. Both concerns were forcing me to look at my emotions and focus on being present in the space which I ended up being very grateful for.
I also was grateful that I was asked a pointed question about how I was feeling, which forced me to be out in the open and vulnerable. After the past few days, I was feeling raw, and was craving the opportunity to speak about my experience and yet still feeling really trepidatious about opening up to a group of nine people I barely knew about the hurt I was feeling. But as soon as I started talking I started to feel a release of some of the sadness I was carrying.
I started to hear the stories of the other’s in the room and one line struck me about being a giver, and pouring a lot of love and time into relationships and feeling like you’re not getting much back. When I heard that line it hit me so hard, like someone threw truth at me like a brick. All I wanted to do was to reach out touch the person who said this, but they were across the room. It was an almost overwhelming desire to connect and go, I hear you, this is exactly it. The givers give, but often we are not given TO.
Yes. yes. YES. You are not alone, I hear you.
One of the reasons I surround myself with such amazing people is TO LOVE.
I’ve realized that equally important is to be loved IN RETURN.